Posts tagged ‘nerds’

Mental Models: How To Be Treated Like a Princess

I thought about writing this post before and after reading Treating Girls Like a Dick, I knew I had to for us girls….so here goes.  The key to getting anyone, let alone men, to treat you like a princess is your own mental model.  A mental model is your view of the world and how you act according to this view; as wikipedia states, “It is a kind of internal symbol or representation of external reality,”  Let’s break this down further with an example.  Your vision seems crystal clear until you go to the optometrist and you are given a prescription for glasses.  Once you put on the glasses you see the world in a whole new light.  Every girl has a mental model of what kind of men they think they “deserve.”  And here’s the hard part, you have to adjust your mental model if it doesn’t fit with someone treating you like a princess.  So how do you do it?

– Don’t give any attention to assholes

By giving them attention it gives them an incentive to keep up the behavior.  If you move on right away, it tells them they don’t fit your mental model and agenda of what you want for yourself.

– Reward the behavior that you deserve

When I say reward I don’t mean “throw him a treat.”  He’s not a dog.  I mean give him attention and give him the same type of courtesy in return.

Ok so that’s the basics, but how do you spot nice guys?  Well that’s easy.

1. Anyone that treats him mom and/or sisters nicely will do the same for you.  So if he talks to his mom on a regular basis and does so for the sake of keeping in contact and not asking for money this is a clear indicator.

2. Birds of a feather flock together.  If you know one nice guy, but he doesn’t do it for you, look to his friends and acquaintances.  One group you’ve probably over looked through the years are the nerds.  For the same reason that you can’t get away from assholes (mental model) nerds think anyone that talks to them is good enough for them.

3. How he treats his ex.  Does he have good relationships with his exes?  They shouldn’t be best friends, that’s an indicator he’s not over her.  Instead he shouldn’t have any hard feelings towards her and should be friendly if he does see her.

Once you’ve mastered the above, your conversations might go like one I’ve had in the past.

guy: Hi I’m so and so, what’s your name?

me: Well my daddy calls me princess.

What a response that gets…great conversation starter.  Remember lesson of the day: don’t be afraid to demand what you deserve.

April 15, 2008 at 3:51 pm 4 comments

4 Guys You Should Date

 

After the responses I got from Cosmo’s Best Places To Meet Men, I decided to continue my attack on the magazine.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great magazine for the beach or plane trip, but it’s so superficial and it ignores all the real issues.  So with that said, let’s take a look at what Cosmo calls “Four Guys You Think You Should Date…but Shouldn’t!” and my reasons why you should.

Guy #1: The Adrenaline Junkie

Cosmo describes these men as guys that will do “anything for that rush.”  They’ll go skydiving, run with the bulls, or anything else that sparks fear in most people.  I, myself, have a fear of heights, so getting me on a ferris wheel is a huge accomplishment.  Yet there is a reason for me and others to date someone like this…it gets us out of our comfort zone.  They’ll add some spice to your life and get you to do something that in their mind is mild like surfing or the NASCAR experience.  Even if you just have the chance to date a guy like this once, do it and I swear you won’t regret it (I don’t).

Guy #2: Nice Guy with a Chip on His Shoulder

These are the nice guys deep down but for one reason or another they spend most of their time picking on others.  This is one type of guy most of us probably dated in high school.  You dated them until you realized how much of a loser they are for tooling on other people all the time.  This is one guy Cosmo actually got right.

Guy #3: Smooth Operator

These are the Casanovas.  They have lots of confidence and give girls lots of attention, and obviously you’re never the only one they’re looking at.  But if you’re looking for fun, they’re it.  They take you out for scorpion bowls, throw great Halloween parties, or just say lines like “why are you a zero when you can be with a hero” (yes that line was used on me by a smooth operator).  They’re not great for a serious relationship, but they’re someone everyone needs to date in time.

Guy #4: Workaholic Hotshot

These guys work all the time, so they’re pretty loaded.  So it’s important to understand you will be the second love in their life because money will always be first.  If you want someone to shower you with gifts and expensive dinners this guy will do it.  He’ll make you feel special at moments and like dirt the next (hey, that’s starting to sound like most relationships).  If you want arm candy, he’s a good choice.  But if you want more of a reason to date him other than to show him off to your friends, I’d suggest someone who will put in the time.  So maybe Cosmo got this one right too….damn them.

In my experience I’ve dated guys like all of ones listed above.  I’m glad I got a wide variety in the mix, but other than that they just make good memories.  I guess the point of this post is to say you’ll only know what you want by finding out what you don’t.  So get out there and date guys you wouldn’t ordinarily and for me that could mean dating “nerds.”

March 18, 2008 at 1:30 pm 2 comments


SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT ME BUT CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT I SEE

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