White Flag

October 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm 2 comments

i know now the place that i was trying to reach was you right here in front of me

does being happy mean being thrilled with every aspect of your life?  no.  but i think it’s safe to say, you’d be happy with the majority of things.  what if you’re not? what can you do?  i remember the last time i felt good, and how that differs from the way things are now.  so what’s different?

i felt in control, i was more certain about my immediate future.  i had things to look forward to.  i knew what to expect.  i knew my routine, like the back of my hand. now it seems a week can’t pass without some type of problem.  first it was a flat tire, then i got sick, who knows whats just around the corner.  i’m not going to be at home for thanksgiving, for the first time in 22 years. no vacations to get excited about.

i was surrounded by people i knew.  at school it was friends, and just familar faces you get use to seeing as you walk across campus.  most of my family was a short drive away.  here, it’s like staring at a crowd of blank faces.  it’s not the friendly midwest that you think it would be.  the closest extended family is a 7 hour drive.  when i get calls from family saying they’re together while i sit alone…a tear falls down my cheek. 

how long do you ‘stick it out’ before you wave the white flag?


Entry filed under: Let's Get Personal.

Getting Lucky Cancer

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. x-broceanographer  |  November 4, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    My experience:
    Every place you move seems interesting for the first few months. About months 4-6 every place sucks because you don’t know anyone, don’t trust anyone, and continuously think about how great the place you came from was. Something will happen during that time and you will develop a support system and friends and you will start to feel a little bit better.
    At about a year you will know if the place is right for you and by year 2 you will think the place you’re at is great if it was a good fit. It doesn’t matter how good looking you are, how much money you have, or how sick of a person you are to hang out with – this is pretty much the experience most people I talk to have.

    Everyone goes through this believe me, I’ve done it 6x now and it sucks every time. The first time I moved across the country I was getting ready to move back home and my dad told me that if I didn’t give a place a year I would never know if I would have truly liked it. He was absolutely right – some places I didn’t like living – but not because I didn’t give them a chance, rather it was because I truly just didn’t vibe there. Other places I thought I hated at first and found out they were perfect for me.

    Either way, your choice… Just figured I’d write because I and a lot of others know exactly what you’re going through – best of luck…

    i would agree with you if i knew no one, but that is not the case. i moved here with a cousin, and also have a new friend that i met here. they’re great, but it’s not cutting it.

  • 2. dchero  |  November 10, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    never raise the white flag, it’s a sign of weakness. end of story. the post-college years of not having immediately pressing issues are something you have to deal with wherever you live.

    is it equivilent to making eye contact with opposing drivers? everyone knows that’s a true sign of weakness


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